When it comes to relationships, people tend to play games in order to figure out where the relationship is going. However, playing games in a relationship can be extremely detrimental as it could make you or your partner look like a fool. Playing games can refer to things like playing hard to get, coming off ‘cool’ to be attractive or more appealing or even talking about an ex-partner to gain a reaction. Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t play games when in a new relationship.

What Do We Mean By - Playing Games

We sometimes engage in mind games in relationships to try and maintain the upper hand or simply to keep someone interested or on the hook. Even the best-intentioned of us are guilty of these behaviours.

These are some examples of games we might play:

• Waiting for the other person to make the first move
• Not responding to text messages immediately
• Waiting a few days to call someone back
• Not answering calls on the first few rings
• Not agreeing to last-minute plans, to avoid seeming too available
• Not going on another date with the same person in the same week
• Waiting a certain number of dates to sleep with someone
• Not introducing the person to friends, family members, or colleagues

Why Playing Games Is So Not Worth It

These are some reasons why you shouldn’t play games in relationships and be more direct instead:

• Mistrust: Games often involve deceit or manipulation, which can make it difficult to build trust in the relationship. It can be hard to trust someone when you’re not sure if they’re interested in you or if they’ll show up for you.
• Insecurity: The person at the receiving end of the games may constantly find themselves wondering how their partner feels about them, which can cause a lot of insecurity and anxiety.
• Unhealthy power dynamics: Playing games can create a power imbalance in the relationship. One person may feel like they have the upper hand while the other person might feel powerless.
• Conflict: Playing games and manipulating someone can hurt their feelings or make them angry, leading to conflict in the relationship.
• Wasted energy: Engaging in mind games can take a lot of mental and emotional energy. This energy could be better spent on building a strong, honest, and loving relationship instead.

How to Avoid Them to Be More Authentic…!!!

These are some strategies that can help you avoid playing games in relationships:

• Communicate honestly: Do your best to be honest and straightforward with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with them openly, without worrying about how it’ll make you look. Tell them what you want and what you’re looking for.
• Be yourself: It’s important to be your authentic and genuine self in a relationship.² Look for the person who loves and accepts you the way you are, instead of trying to manipulate someone to make yourself seem more desirable.
• Be consistent: Be consistent in your words and actions. Avoid giving your partner mixed signals, as that can lead to confusion and misunderstandings.
• Follow your instincts: Trust your gut! It's OK to let your feelings and instincts guide your behaviour. If you felt like you connected with someone on a date and you want to call them the next day, don’t hold back. If you have feelings for someone and want to sleep with them, do it whenever it feels right—this could be after one date or after several months of dating.
• Address issues directly: If something is bothering you, address it directly rather than resorting to passive-aggressive behaviour or mind games.³
• Avoid provoking jealousy: Avoid trying to make your partner jealous to elicit a reaction from them. Instead, communicate your feelings of insecurity and work on building trust together.
• Clarify any misunderstandings: If you're unsure about something, ask your partner directly. Avoid assuming things or speculating about their thoughts or intentions.
• Work on finding solutions together: When conflicts arise, focus on finding solutions together rather than playing the blame game.
• Apologize for your mistakes: If you do make a mistake and engage in game-playing behaviour, acknowledge it, apologize, and commit to communicating more openly in the future.
• Seek help: If you’re not sure how to handle a particular situation, it can be helpful to seek the advice of loved ones whom you consider your relationship role models. If you’re struggling to build a healthy relationship, talking to a therapist can help you explore your insecurities and improve your communication style.

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